Date Finished: 18 August 2000
Title: Journal Entry 1
Author: Eiluned (darkphoenix42@x-men.com)
Archive: All lists have permission. All others ask before
archiving or linking.
Disclaimer 1: These characters belong to Marvel Comics, not me. Disclaimer 2: I'm a movie fan, not a comic book fan. I've only taken fleeting looks at the comics, so my stories will not follow comic canon.
Rating: PG-13
Keywords: POV, Romance, Angst
Pairing: Logan/Jean
Warnings: None
Summary: A brief conversation.
Notes: Oh, my goddess. I wrote something that wasn't NC-17. It's a first. This is just a short POV piece, and hopefully I'll be able to write some more along this story line. Any feedback or beer to bribe my WolvieMuse with would be great. ^_^ This is for Arcadian42, who likes Logan/Jean, and Snowy, who doesn't. ^_~
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Personal Journal of Dr. Jean Grey
Entry #1

When Logan came up to me today and said, "Jean, I need to tell you something," I knew it was going to be one of those 'oh, shit' moments.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets like a teenager and stared down at the floor for a long moment. "I... I know that you and Scott... uh," he paused and gave me a little smile. "This is harder than I thought it would be. Ah, you probably don't think of me in that way, but I want you to know how I feel."

I nodded calmly, even though my heart was pounding with apprehension. God, I knew what he was going to say, but I didn't have any idea how I would respond to it. That feeling is never pleasant, especially for me.

Logan took me by the shoulders and looked me in the eyes, his expression the clearest and most intent that I've ever seen. "You probably think that it's just lust, but it's not, Jean. You have taken my heart. I don't remember what love feels like, but I know this is it. I've never felt this way for anyone, ever. Not the way I feel for you. I'm in love with you."

Much to my horror, tears started rolling down my cheeks. His hands tightened on my arms and he sighed a heavy breath. "You will do whatever you want, Jean, but I needed you to know that I love you. I will always love you."

His lips were on mine before I can blink, and I melted against his body. The heat and feral smell of him made me dizzy and I leaned heavily against him, my arms sliding around his neck. He kissed me for a moment more, his tongue stroking mine, his arms tight around my waist, then he pulled away reluctantly.

"I can live the rest of my life with just the memory of that kiss. I want more, but I won't force you," he said softly, stroking his fingers over my cheek, his eyes slightly glassy. "I have to go."

And he disappeared down the hallway, leaving me weak against the wall. My eyes fall on the sparkling diamond on my left hand, and for the first time in my life, I don't know what to do.

All I could say was, "Oh, shit."

It might have been humorous, if my heart wasn't breaking.

End

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