Touched by Starlight by Sairavanië

TITLE: Touched by Starlight
AUTHOR: Sairavanië
EMAIL: contact_vik@hotmail.com
RATING: G
PAIRING: Nonshipper: Elrond & Arwen
DISCLAIMER: Noooo I don´t own Arwen or Elrond or anyone else in the Lord of the Rings. They belong to the genuis of J.R.R Tolkien. I´m just playing around with them.
FEEDBACK: To the email address above.
SUMMARY: Arwen misses Aragorn, and she talks to her father about it...

*

"You know what the most beautiful thing I have ever seen is? The stars... the shining jewels of a cloudless night, their mystery, their light, their history. The fact that they are real. That I can see them from my room and wish upon them. When they shine through the branches of a lonely tree, already lit with moonlight. When you can just imagine them from behind the clouds on a grey evening. Or when the sky seems so full of them that there is no room, and some are so distant that they melt together in a silver mist. I could just stare at them for hours, outside, in my garden at Imladris or below our tree in Lorien, inside, from my warm room where I have spent so many nights, waiting.

You know that the eveningstar always shines in through my window? The light is so strong I think I can feel it. When it lands on my bare skin I think it touches me. I want it to.

You know there´s a flower in my garden? A flower that reaches for the sky every starlit night, that feeds from the light of the stars and bows its head when they can´t be seen.

You know that I feel like that flower? When you are gone (you always are), away where I cannot follow. I know it´s not your choice, it´s the clouds that prevent us from being together, darkening over the sky and keeping us apart. Just like that flower knows that her stars can´t stop the clouds from spreading.

But then when I do see you. When the light of your eyes touches me instead of that lonely star and pierces my heart like an arrow. Those rare times when you hold me. Watching over me not from afar but at my side, when I can feel your presence and be, for but a while, safe."

Arwen sighed and leaned back against the large tree where she sat, watching the sky. She tended to lose herself in thought lately, like the stars filled her with emotions. The sky was full of them tonight. Like diamonds they were, yet more beautiful. She reached out her hand and tried to touch them, wanted to know what they felt like, if they felt her. But they were still, as always, far away in the endless night. Beyond her reach.

Their light reflected on her grey raiment, wanting to be close but hindered by the distance. She looked at her hand, slender and white under the starlight. A green stone shimmered over the pale background, the light playing on her long fingers and in her eyes. She watched it carefully, touched it lightly and smiled taking the hand that held her ring in the other and pressing it against her heart.

In her head she saw a sudden flash of all those who had worn it before her. The vision was incredible. So long time ago, so many sorrows and so much love it was almost too much for her heart to bear. And last of all she saw herself. Laughing and crying and singing and dancing. Smiling at dawn upon Cerin Amroth, her face shinning like the sun and eyes burning like a warm fire. Crying at the water of Nimrodel just wanting the pain to go away.

It had been years since. Since she left Lorien alone. Or had it been? The days seemed so long, so unbearable. She had talked a lot with her father, just not about that. They talked about other things, like the ways of the stars, the flowers in her garden, the changing of the world. He told her stories she had heard before, of elder days that she would listen till again and again, just to hear his voice. He taught her new songs that she would sing to him when he asked her.

There was a time when she always sang, under moon and under star, inside and outdoors. Always dancing.

It had been long now since she wanted to sing. Not that many years but an eternity, even to the elves of Rivendell that mourned over the loss of her enchanting voice. But sometimes she raised her voice and sang to her father. Always soft and sad songs, echoing her aching heart and great longing. Elrond listen and cried. He looked into her eyes and smiled reassuring, but they never said a word. Her brothers had listen as well sometimes, but turned away from her sorrowful face and were quiet. They loved her so much, she knew that, it hurt.

But she was happy, she really was. Happy in her memories and happy in her future. The rest didn´t matter anymore. That was why she smiled, sitting under a large tree surrounded by her flowers and lit up by her stars.

"Arwen?" A deep but clear voice asked by her side. She looked up and into Elronds ocean-blue eyes. "Good evening father", she gave him a rare smile that made his face shine. He sat down beside her and they watched the stars together for a long time before he spoke again.

"How are you feeling starshine?" his voice was concerned but light. She looked down and played with her hands.

"I´m fine..." she looked up and met his eyes. "I really am." It was true, just not entirely true. "I´m happy"; she said as if to herself.

"You miss him". It wasn´t a question as much as a statement. She stirred a bit. That was completely out of the blue, but she never let go of his gaze.

"So much it hurts", she said under her breath.

"You love him?"

"Unconditionally", she didn´t hesitate for a second.

Elrond took a deep breath and rested his head in his hands. He would never cry but Arwen sensed the tears in his voice.

"I´m sorry". He whispered.

"Father..."

"No, I mean it. I should have talked to you. It´s just that... as much as I love you, both of you, I just couldn´t bring myself to accept it." He sighed and looked deep into her eyes, as if trying to read her mind. Arwen smiled and put her arms around his neck.

"I love you so much dad" she buried her face in his shoulder and let it all go. She cried for herself, for her love, for her father, her brothers, her mother, and he held her tight. Whispering in her ear and comforting her.

"You´ll always be my jewel starshine." He said quietly. "Always be my diamond in the sky."

Arwen fell asleep that night, crying in her fathers´ arms but with a blissful smile on her lips and with dreams of love and the beauty of stars.